I reached my breaking point. You know that point in a project where you physically can’t deal with it anymore? The point you keep pushing off until one day you’re crying at your desk because someone asked you if you liked a certain type of flower and all you can think about is a color scheme? I’m there.
This wedding has turned into an all encompassing nightmare to which there is no end. I’m constantly planning to visit vendors, looking/researching vendors, talking about vendors, or talking to vendors. I can’t sleep, my face is a war zone of acne, and I can’t focus on anything.
I’ve been trying to tell myself that it gets better. That this is supposed to be ‘fun’. But truth be told, I’m not finding either of those to be the case even though I keep pushing and pushing and pushing myself. Normally I’m really good at handling stress. But this stress is whole new beast I have never met before.
So today, I’m letting go. Not giving up, because failure is not an option, but letting go. I’m letting go of the stress, planning, questions, opinions, organization, and just plain mess. I’m letting go of prices and timelines and visits. I’m letting go of this wedding. Not forever, but for awhile.
Tonight, I’m going to do something fun with my fiancé and enjoy our time together. Because you know what? He’s the most important part of this day for me and if Sally can’t wait two weeks for an answer on wedding cake that’s not needed until next year than she can kindly shove her cake where the sun don’t shine.
If you too need to let something go because it has taken over your life and turned it into a disaster, I feel you. I commiserate with you and I am a failure freak with you.