Do you ever find yourself living multiple, separate lives? In each life you are a different person and each life has different people in it.
I, personally, live eight different lives on any given day. I have my work life where I am very professional and responsible. I have my life with my dad where I laugh at corny jokes, take advice I don’t need, and love money/material things. I have my life with my brother where I get made fun of (but pretend it doesn’t bother me) and listen to him complain about his life while being super supportive and only offering advice at just the right time. I have my life with my fiancé where I’m goofy and needy and honest and funny and loving and super annoying. I also have lives with my friends, future parents-in-law (each one is separate), and mom. So I can be eight different people in one single day.
Today, I realized that’s exhausting. I don’t want to be eight different people, I want to be one. But which person do I chose? How do I chose? Which one is authentically me? Or is the solution to be one person with fractions of all eight in her? Maybe it’s not about being a different person for separate people. Maybe the beauty comes from being eight parts of one person. All parts equally beautiful and all parts authentically me.
If you too feel like you live different lives, I feel you. I commiserate with you and I am a failure freak with you.