Letting go is something I really struggle with. I am a huge grudge holder and I’m super stubborn. Even something small, like my fiancé forgetting to bring in the dirty dishes from his car, is hard for me to get over.
Lately, I’ve tried to allow myself to feel anger for three minutes. Sounds strange right? Why would you want to feel something you’re trying to get better about holding on to? Well, put simply, I don’t.
No one wants to feel a negative emotion so we bottle it up. We bottle it up and stuff it away until five months down the road someone takes all the cups out of your cabinet and doesn’t return them so you have to drink water out of an old plant pot. In that moment, the bottle becomes uncorked and you feel ALL the anger that you stuffed away but magnified.
Feeling my anger, even just for three minutes, lessens the amount I put in the bottle. Telling my fiancé I need three minutes when something upsets me allows me the time to decompress and reset. In those three minutes, as uncomfortable as I may be, I allow myself to think and feel all the negative things that come to mind without hurting his feelings in the process. Imagine, if everyone in the world took three minutes, where we would be?
If you too have trouble letting go and dealing with your anger in a healthy way, I feel you. I commiserate with you and I am a failure freak with you.