0 to 100 With No In-between

Do you ever have those days where you just feel off? Not bad, not good, just off? You kind of want to lose your shit but you kind of want to be okay? You kind of want to sleep for five years but you kind of don’t?

Some people believe it has to do with planets, energy, a higher being, etc. Whatever your cup of tea, we all feel it. But why? What does ‘feeling off’ really mean and how can we combat it?  

I like to believe it is my body’s way of telling me to slow my roll. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, Kendall!” But even knowing this, I’m incapable of slowing down. I am a zero to one hundred kind of girl with nothing in-between. One hundred is how I live most of my life…going one hundred miles per hour, doing one hundred different things in one hundred different ways, until the task is one hundred percent completed. Zero is reserved for days when something catastrophic happens. So when I’m at a solid fifty, I don’t really know what to do with myself.

Does a fifty mean I try half as hard? Does a fifty mean I’m half as successful? Does a fifty mean half of me isn’t functioning!? I can’t seem to wrap my brain around the feeling, or concept, of only being a solid fifty. 

If your day, week, month, or year has been at a solid fifty, I feel you. I commiserate with you. I am a failure freak with you.


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